Oh, those Aussies! They have fully embraced The Bachelor TV show and made their own version of it. I admit I watch The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise, both are entertaining train wrecks. But the Aussies are after my own heart by incorporating a bathtub of chocolate into the art of seduction.
“Richie (the bachelor) picks her (Alex) up in a Ferrari, and she tells us to camera that she really wants Richie to see that she cares about him. You know, more than just touching his mouth while he’s blindfolded and licking his tonsils — something more obvious.
He guns the engine, crosses over some double center lines and generally sets a bad example for young folk, while she exclaims breathlessly that she’s happy to be his passenger forever. They pull up in front of a house virtually indistinguishable from the Womansion and find a chef dude inside stirring a large vat of something gooey, telling them they’ll be making their own chocolate today.
Of course, every cooking-related date should naturally end in a bathtub filled with food, so Alex and Richie head outside — where all good bathtubs are located — to sit in a big tub o’ tepid brown. That’s a thing that happens.
It’s a thing that releases a lot of slimy hand-holding, embarrassing caressing and all-too-audible kissing.”
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